The story how I found God is a long one. I don’t have one of those stories of people who grew up loving God, and knew that He loved them. My story is more complex than that. I have never actually written it down before, so I apologize if this is all over the place.

So, lets start at the beginning:

Both of my parents grew up Catholic. All of my siblings and myself grew up Catholic. When I was younger, my family went to church every Sunday. But, being as young as I was, I didn’t really know what it meant to be Catholic, or to be a servant of God. So, when I told people that I was Catholic, that didn’t mean anything to me. I was just saying words. This mindset of mine continued for a large portion of my childhood, where I wasn’t feeling God in my life, nor was I trying to. Even being so young, I could tell that many of the people I knew had God in their lives, and knew what God meant to them. I wondered: Why am I not like them? Why do I not feel God in my life the way they do? Is there something wrong with me?

These questions haunted me for years. I wanted to feel and accept God into my life, but something was blocking me. Blocking my heart. I didn’t know what it was for a long time. But as I got older, I figured out what it was. I don’t want to go into detail about it, but it was something that affected me and my entire family. It only got worse as I got older. Eventually, my family stopped going to church. I blocked out God from my mind, body, and soul. I stopped believing that God was on our side. I didn’t believe that He would heal our family. And then, one thing led to another, and we didn’t go to church for 3 years.

Then, and I’m not entirely sure how, but we started going again. Slowly. This time around, I really focused on trying to accept and feel God in my life. I tried to find something to connect to in each mass. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. But then, I made a decision that changed everything.

My junior year of high school, a good friend of mine reached out to me and asked me to be a Peer Minister for the Confirmation classes at my church. I decided that I was going to do it, but at the time, I really only needed the volunteer hours. I had no idea what I would find through doing this. Within the first few classes, I fell in love. I loved being in an environment where everyone was gathered to praise and worship God in a smaller setting. The students, while some were more willing than others, were preparing to make the sacrament of Confirmation, and I was there to help them on their journey. This was the first time that I can remember really feeling God in my heart and soul. He was using me to do His work. I ended up loving it so much that I continued to be a Peer Minister in the next year as well. Unfortunately, that was my last year, since I will be leaving home in the fall.

Ever since this experience, I have felt God’s presence in my life. Not just as a word, but as a real part of me. It took me 16 years to find God, and to accept Him into my life. I’m 18 now, and I have never felt more whole. I feel more rounded as a person. I can honestly say that I have a true faith, and a God who loves and protects me.

As of recently, I have added an aspect to my faith life. I have started to attend life group. I love it. I feel so connected with God, and I get to worship our amazing Savior with people who feel the same way about God that I do. The atmosphere is so loving, and so focused on God and spreading his love and presence to other people. I wish that I had found this group sooner. I wish that I had gotten to experience this love before now. But, I am glad that I at least get to experience it now.

Like I have said before, it took me a while to get to God. But now, I feel His amazing love everyday. I know that He is with me at all times, and He has a plan for me. He will guide me in the right direction. He will not steer me wrong, for He knows where I am supposed to go, and He has a plan for me to succeed. Sometimes, when I feel lost or confused, I think about this saying:

He sent me with a purpose, for a purpose.

I heard someone say that once, and it stuck with me. It reminds me that God sent me here to this Earth for a purpose. I have a meaning. I have a mission that I was sent to complete. What that mission is, I have no idea. At least, not yet. Our God works in mysterious ways, and when He decides that I am ready to receive the mission and purpose that I am here for, He will show me.  I fully believe that.

I have committed my life to God, and I will continue to worship His name.

Our God is magnificent, and I can’t wait to see what He has in my future.

With Love,

Emily

P.S. I want to start doing a “song of the post” type thing. It might not always correlate with the theme/message of the post, but it will always be songs that are close to my heart.

Today’s song: “There Is A Cloud” by Elevation Worship.

If you haven’t heard it, its really good! Give it a listen!