*disclaimer: this is a long one. i’m sorry, i had a lot to say!*

Elephant in the room: yes, I did just quote a Harry Styles song. No, I don’t regret it. There is a reason for it, but we’ll get to that later.

Anyway, I’ve had a lot on my mind recently that I wanted to talk about. So, let’s talk about it.

Number One: My job. So, for those of you who don’t know, this past month I started a new job at Starbucks. My last job ended (RIP sweetfrog), and I was fortunate enough to get a job as a Shift Supervisor within the same week. This has been quite the transition for me because since I was at the frog for just under 3 years, I was very comfortable there. I loved it; it worked for me and I knew everything there was to know about that store. But, as life happens, I was uprooted and forced to find something new when I was least expecting it. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, but no one likes change. People like to stick with what they know; with what’s comfortable for them, me being one of those people. So, with that being said, making this move to Starbucks was a big thing. It was (and still is) a completely new job with new things to learn, new people, and it was just different. And let me tell you, there are so many things you need to know to be a shift as Starbucks. Especially with being a new hire, I struggled with it a lot. Fun fact: last week I got off of a closing shift, I went home and I cried, no lie. I was so overwhelmed and I felt very unprepared to work a shift on my own, which I had to do a few days from then, that I just cried. I hate feeling like I’m unprepared or like I’m falling behind. I like to know exactly what I’m doing, but life just doesn’t work that way all the time. Sometimes, you’re going to fall short, but guess what, that’s okay. You’re not going to be on the ball every second; we all have our days where things just aren’t going as planned. This is something I’ve had to keep reminding myself of. I’m still not fully confident in the position yet, but I am confident that I will get there. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself because at the end of the day, I’m going to clock out and go home. If I make mistakes, so be it. Learning a new job is always going to be difficult and stressful, but making mistakes is how you learn.

Moving swiftly along, number two is: college! Changing majors, more specifically. So, I’m currently on major number 3 since starting college last fall. Certain events have transpired that forced me to make some decisions that I was meh about, but good news, I think I’ve finally settled upon something that I’m actually going to stick with… and I’m really excited about it. So, a little backstory, I started college as a nursing major. It was what I had planned on since I was younger and I had my heart set on being a nurse in the future. Well, this ended up not working out. Since I transferred to UNCC from WCU this semester, and because organic chemistry is the worst, I was no longer a nursing student when I attended orientation over the summer, and was told that I couldn’t be undecided and that I must choose a major. So, in about the span of 5 minutes, I made the decision to enter the Pre-Kinesiology/Exercise Science major. At the time, I figured that it was close enough to nursing to make me happy, but it turns out that I just don’t like it. I’m not all that interested in athletic training or physical therapy or any of that stuff. Luckily, I’m only taking one of my kinesiology prerequisites this semester, but I have been sitting through it knowing that it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. At this point, I knew I had to change my major, but the question was: what do I change it to? I looked over the list of majors offered at UNCC maybe 6 times, racking my brain for something that I would want to do for the rest of my life. There was something in the back of my mind, that normally I paid little attention to, but this time it rose to the surface. I thought to myself, Yes, this could work. So, after a long hard think, I have made my decision. My new (and hopefully last) major is… drumroll, please… English with a Creative Writing concentration! Yay! I can’t express enough how happy I am. For the first time since transferring to UNCC, I actually feel like I’m going in the right direction. Not too many people know about this, but I do write quite a lot in my free time. It’s what I love to do, and even though I have no idea what I want to do with this degree yet, I think this could be really good for me. I’m excited for the growth I could experience within this major, and to see what doors God will open for me.

Number three is a really important one: mental health. I talked about this in my last post, but I felt the need to bring it up again. Life is stressful, and there are days where it feels like nothing is going right. But even so, life goes on. There will be better days; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But, the important thing to remember is to take care of yourself through the storm. Take a step back, take a deep breath; not everything is as bad as it seems. It’s okay to not be at your best sometimes. It’s okay to ask for help, or even just to ask someone to listen to you. I know that I haven’t been at my best lately. With the stress of school, this new job, and other life problems, things can get piled up really fast. But I always make sure that I make time to do something for myself. Whether that’s taking a nap, watching some YouTube videos, working on a story, or just sitting and doing nothing, it helps. Anything that turns my mind off of what I’m dealing with helps me to recharge and tackle whatever has been put in front of me. Taking time for yourself is so important, and it’s probably one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Last, but certainly not least, “do you know who you are?” So, Harry Styles, one of my favorite artists, released a song last week with this line in it. The song is about stepping into the light and being comfortable with who you are, no matter what anyone else says. It got me to thinking, do I know who I am? The answer is, I think so. Who I am is always changing, just like with everyone else. Things and circumstances in our lives shape who we are, like this new job. It has shown me different aspects of myself that I didn’t know about, and it has helped me to understand more of who I am as a coworker and as a leader. My college experience has also helped in this area; it has brought to light certain strengths as well as weaknesses I possess, helping me to grow in my academic environment. My point is that you don’t stay the same, just like how life never stays the same. You are always growing and changing into the person you are meant to be, and sometimes that includes growing out of certain things to evolve into the new you. I know I mentioned earlier how no one likes change, but these changes are good. We might not know why we go through the stages in life that we do, but it will all come together one day. It will all make sense in the future, especially if it’s confusing right now. Embrace it.

Moral of the story: All things come together in the end. Cut yourself some slack, life isn’t that serious. Be yourself, be confident, and embrace the changes that come your way. It will all be worth it, because you’re worth it.

Love Always, Emily

SOTP: “Lights Up” by Harry Styles. This is the song I quoted, and I think it has a really good message. It reminds me to be who I am, accept others for who they are, and to always treat people with kindness.